How I Escaped From Lord Tyrant Toxic relationship

How I Escaped From Lord Tyran, [freedom from Toxic Relationship]

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How I Escaped From Lord Tyran, [freedom from Toxic Relationship]

How I Escaped From Lord Tyrant Toxic relationship

How I Escaped From Lord Tyran, [freedom from Toxic Relationship]

There is only one way out of a toxic relationship – to break up once and for all. Anna Pashkova talks about her experience in the book “Toxic. How to build a healthy relationship and not get in trouble ”, published by the Eksmo publishing house. The book is recommended for reading by persons over 18 years old.

… By the time I decided to finally leave the Lord Tyrant, he himself constantly spoke about our upcoming parting. After convincing me that I was nobody and would be lost without him, he took up the topic:

“We have no common future, since you are so ugly, awkward, stupid and did not give birth to my son.”

Don’t forget we are treating How I Escaped From Lord Tyran, [freedom from Toxic Relationship] 

Mr. Tyrant loved emotional swings, and from the days of the “honeymoon”, when after violent quarrels I heard “give me ten children (but only boys)”, he abruptly switched to “the mother of my children will never be like you.”

It was this period that I well remember as the one when Mr. Tyrant raised his hand against me for the first and last time. Before that, he could lightly push me, hurt me, snatch something out of his hands, or pour insufficiently hot soup on my lap. Could ruin my thing because it seemed old-fashioned to him.

He could leave me on the street at night without money for a taxi, insult and humiliate me. By that time, he felt confident enough to start pushing. As proof that I deserve to be the mother of his children, I had to get pregnant and felt this pressure.

Don’t forget we are treating How I Escaped From Lord Tyran, [freedom from Toxic Relationship] 

Important! All relationships are different, but a distinctive feature of any union is that if it is ALREADY bad for some reason, it will definitely not be improved by having a joint child. The least likely is those relationships where a woman wants to try to keep her husband, who constantly points her to the door. He manipulates, but the whole family can fall victim to this manipulation.

You can also check out “If you need help, you have to ask.” Why are we afraid and suffering

Escape from the cage

My relationship smelled like fried. To decide whether they would continue or not, it was necessary now or never. Mr. Tyrant was ready to go to the beatings.

Don’t forget we are treating How I Escaped From Lord Tyran, [freedom from Toxic Relationship] 

It is important to understand that many victims of violence are completely unaware of their status before being physically hurt. Physical abuse is an important psychological boundary. I, like many others, believed that I simply had a “difficult relationship”, “conflicts in a couple” and other harmless states in the union of two people, neither of whom felt eternal fear of the other.

I remember well how it happened.

Don’t forget we are treating How I Escaped From Lord Tyran, [freedom from Toxic Relationship] 

Mr. Tyrant, as usual, came back from work in a bad mood. The boss was unhappy with him. He did not defend his project in front of the management, because he never objected to those who are “stronger” than him, but decided to take the evil out on me.

It was an evening on which I could be proud of myself. All his clothes were washed, ironed and laid out in a convenient order. I made a three course dinner. Looked pretty good (at least I couldn’t find what he could find fault with). And waited at home, hoping to get a restrained silence. Evenings without scandals were among my little joys.

Don’t forget we are treating How I Escaped From Lord Tyran, [freedom from Toxic Relationship] 

Mr. Tyrant entered.

Mr. Tyrant walked into the room in shoes and fell on the bed.

– Take off my shoes, my head hurts terribly.

I obeyed and saw that his own shoes had left several marks on the carpet. Not knowing what to do – report to him or silently remove, until he had time to notice, I chose the second option and went to get the brush. Already from the bathroom I heard a cry:

– The creature! Tvaaaar! Come here.

Frightened, I ran into the room. He could only call me.

– I came home and wanted it to be clean here.

– But … you yourself …

His eyes were bloodshot.

– Do not come, I can not restrain myself and hit you, and I do not want to humiliate myself to that.

Translation from the language of the Lord Tyrant: “I am intemperate, but I intend to blame you for this, in any case you yourself will be to blame.”

Don’t forget we are treating How I Escaped From Lord Tyran, [freedom from Toxic Relationship] 

I instinctively took a step back and reached for the door to hide in the kitchen until it cooled down.

– Where?!

Mr. Tyrant rushed at me with a roar, grabbed me by the hair and hit me with all his might in the face.

This was his first and last blow. The inner core, which I was lucky to have only because I had not witnessed toxic relationships in childhood and before meeting with Mr. Tyrant I could boast of an exceptionally healthy psyche, saved me.

You might also like “So that he doesn’t call me a fat cow anymore” – how psychological abuse is killing marriage and family

Don’t forget we are treating How I Escaped From Lord Tyran, [freedom from Toxic Relationship] 

The blow was a point of no return. The blow no longer allowed me to consider our relationship “just problematic.” Having risen from the floor, I decided to crawl away. From this room, from this relationship, from this love, which (I understood this very well that day) would sooner or later literally kill me.

At that time, I no longer existed as a former person. Unique, valuable to someone. I was an attachment to the Lord Tyrant. But the blow brought me back to my sense of reality.

Probably for the first time since he did something inappropriate in my eyes, I felt so strongly how wrong what is happening between us.

Don’t forget we are treating How I Escaped From Lord Tyran, [freedom from Toxic Relationship] 

I left Mr. Tyrant one day, and although he was looking for me for a long time, persecuting me, threatening me with suicide and an apocalypse, I am glad that I was able to end our relationship abruptly, because otherwise I could have been drawn into a real whirlpool of violence. I would forgive him once and then forgive him again and again.

The safest way out of a relationship with the Tyrant Master is to leave once and for all.

Free yourself from that Toxic relationship

How I Escaped From Lord Tyran, [freedom from Toxic Relationship]

How to protect yourself after a breakup

If your gap develops according to the same scenario as mine – threats are pouring in, as if from a cornucopia, try to protect yourself. By acting within the law, you can:

Warn colleagues, neighbors, relatives and acquaintances that you are in danger. Yes, you will have to share the details of your personal life (it is not necessary to disclose everything from the first day of meeting until the moment when your ex-husband began to promise to kill you).

But people next to you should know that to shout from behind the wall, you need to call the police, and not knock on the battery.

Become Sherlock: Record everything that Tyrant says to you on all devices. Try to communicate with him only in writing, his evil emoticons in social networks with the image of an ax and an ax may come in handy in court.
Meet in safe places: if you still need to cross to pick up your favorite sugar bowl (although I would donate a sugar bowl), do it in crowded places and at a respectful distance from knives, pistols, and heavy objects.

Don’t forget we are treating How I Escaped From Lord Tyran, [freedom from Toxic Relationship] 

The worst meeting place is the apartment you once lived in. Do not rely on the nobility of someone who has already shown himself as a notorious villain.

Get yourself the Mobile Bodyguard application or the panic button on your phone. You must have a way to quickly ask for help. I don’t want to scare you, but you may need it.
Act for safety reasons, not principles.

Forget all the advisers who say “yes, I would call him a fool!”, “Yes, I would tell him …”. No one knows your Lord Tyrant better than you. If it’s safer to frame the breakup as an admission “you’re too good for me, my king,” then do so and don’t blame yourself for it. But you are alive!

Don’t forget we are treating How I Escaped From Lord Tyran, [freedom from Toxic Relationship] 

Donate property. Mr. Tyrant can hold hostage your expensive dresses, your valuables, whatever, he can prevent you from packing your things. Don’t go back for things as people don’t return to a burning house.

Not talking to Mr. Tyrant and ignoring him after a breakup is sometimes difficult, not only because of the moral side of the issue, but also purely technically, if you have common property or children.

The key to success is to attract third parties as much as possible: a lawyer, a second cousin of a bodybuilder, and to minimize your personal contacts, and if they happen, meet in front of witnesses.

Mr. Tyrant will threaten to kill himself, you, everyone, but keeping him confident that this will help is your participation in this dialogue.

Don’t forget we are treating How I Escaped From Lord Tyran, [freedom from Toxic Relationship] 

Attempts to dissuade him, to appeal to conscience did not help before, and will not help now. The best thing that you can do for yourself and for him is to ignore them, because you did not see, did not hear, at that very moment the phone broke down and so on.

Your entry into a relationship with him, let it be new, friendly, or a relationship of the format “I jump off the roof” – “oh, no, don’t,” will convince him that the price of your attention is one hundred and ten letters on social networks. You didn’t answer one hundred and nine, so you have to write one hundred and ten. Do not forget that the logic of an ordinary person is often inaccessible to the Lord Tyrant, although he is not to blame for this.

Don’t forget we are treating How I Escaped From Lord Tyran, [freedom from Toxic Relationship] 

A synopsis for getting out of toxic relationships

Have no pity on Lord Tyrant. Yes, he became a tyrant for a reason. This Master grew out of an unhappy offended child, perhaps from a child suffering from psychopathy, who is also not guilty of anything. He was bullied at school or harassed by his own mother. He hardened for a reason.

All this is true. But the child, whose innocence forgives weakness, died (because he grew up). With the same input, everyone chooses their own path.

Even a man who sees non-existent aliens, can either try to kill them, or lend them a hand of friendship. Mr. Tyrant has chosen the path of power and control, the path to nowhere.

Don’t forget we are treating How I Escaped From Lord Tyran, [freedom from Toxic Relationship] 

Your pity can cost your future, your life, your health, and even the health of your children. Leave pity to those whom he has not yet hurt.

Leave guilt aside. Don’t be ashamed of being in a toxic relationship. Be proud to come out of them. It’s a shame to hit, not to be beaten. It’s a shame – to offend, and not to listen to insults.

Tsunami victims are not ashamed to go to the beach. A relationship is generally a safe place, safe haven, protection, and a warm home, not a battlefield with a winner and a loser. Not you, but Mr. Tyrant ruined everything.

Keep your distance. It is not easy to get rid of the Lord Tyrant if you are not bound by five years of love, but also by two children, whom he uses as a human shield, trying to hit you with his poisoned spears again.

Don’t forget we are treating How I Escaped From Lord Tyran, [freedom from Toxic Relationship] 

Resist the temptation to attend meetings, create the appearance of a good family, conduct only business negotiations and minimize physical contact with the aggressor.

Persuade yourself. Internal dialogues helped me wonderfully in those days when there was simply no one to conduct external ones with. Until I restored all the social ties lost during my relationship with the Tyrant, I myself became my best friend, who looked at what was happening between us from the outside.

– Maybe ask for forgiveness? Anything to end this stupid fight. Even so. I just need him to look at me again, smile at me, talk to me.

Don’t forget we are treating How I Escaped From Lord Tyran, [freedom from Toxic Relationship] 

– Hey, is there anyone at home? He told you terrible things, he made threats. You love him the way he is not! The guy you wanted to live with no longer exists, he was swallowed by a terrible monster.

Become brave! It’s easy to say that yesterday your relationship was saturated with fear. If a child is given ice cream only after an injection from a doctor, he will be cautious about eating a treat in any other situation.

Don’t forget we are treating How I Escaped From Lord Tyran, [freedom from Toxic Relationship] 

He will even think that something strange and unhealthy is happening. Ice cream just like that! It doesn’t happen.

But to be afraid of Mr. Tyrant is exactly the same as any other psychopath on the street. He had power and control over you because he was special to you. Now he is nobody.

To treat his threats and act in these cases is the same as if a stranger threatened you in a dark alley. Without reflection “it hurts him to humiliate and harass me. “Don’t forget we are treating How I Escaped From Lord Tyran, [freedom from Toxic Relationship] 

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